Another pound down that is 3 pounds for last week....

Weight 101Kg Goal:70Kg Still need to loose: 31Kg

Weight loss is going well and I a very happy but I am getting obsessed with what to eat and I am being really strict with food.
Why do people feel they can talk about your weight as if you were not there? Visiting family at the week-end and somehow my weight loss become main topic of conversation. How did you lose it? What do you eat? How much have you lost? How much ore do you want to lose? It was excruciating I do not like the attention....even worst the comment she s being good she did not have a choccie biscuit!! How patronizing! Even if I was not trying to lose weight I would have not had the biscuit! Anyway am I being ungraceful? Should I just take the comments in the spirit they were intended? Bad workout this morning at the gym. PT says I just gave up maybe he has a point. Apparently I lack motivation and mental strength!! How do you keep going when you are tired?

Persepolis and fat and happy?

Weight 103Kg Goal:70Kg Still need to loose: 33Kg

Persepolis is a fantastic movie, I would highly recommend it. This is easily one of the best movies I have seen this year.

We have decided to get a second opinion overseas on the whole baby issue. We are going in 3 weeks. I am excited about going and scared if the news are not good. We are now running out of options...I just hope it is good news.

Finally just to clarify something: I was not happy at my starting weight however it does not mean that you can t be happy. I am not saying that you cannot be fat and happy I am just saying that I was not. In many the ivf was the trigger for me to lose weight but I have only made it so far by keep going after slipping up. In the past I would have just given up after slipping up, this time with PT s help and annoying comments I keep going....I am sure that I will not win a record for the time it has taken me but as long as I get to the destination...that is what matters

Why did I enter this race?

OK the good news is that I have done 5K outside today for the first time ever with PT, the bad news is that it did not go well. It took me 50 mins and 47 seconds. I am not that bothered about the time what I am really worried about is how difficult I found it.
Interestingly enough the difficulty came from the surface I was running on, I am the most uncoordinated person on the planet, so running in an uneven muddy surface was hard!!!
I kept thinking that I was going to fall.

PT was not impressed to say the least and for the first time I could see he thought I was not going to do it on the day alone....

I will do it on the day even if I just walk all the way but I will think twice next time before entering such an event.

I am going running outside again on Sunday with DH so hopefully I will get used to it.

It is getting expensive!

I spent the day shopping and I still get a thrill when I fit into a size 18 so it ended up being very expensive. Funnily enough it is probably most women s nightmare to be a size 18 but after being a lot bigger it feels great...

I have put a bet with DH he needs to lose 10Kg and I need some motivation for the next stone so here it is: Whoever loses the weight firsts (Him 10Kg,Me 7Kg well it is easier for men...) gets £100. It is all meant in good spirit of course.

I went to the gym today again but I did take it easier especially as I am due again tomorrow with PT.



I have a moral dilemma: I have a friend who wants to do the 5Km with me, she just wants to walk the whole course.The issue is for me this is becoming a personal challenge I want to run at least part of it. She is a lot smaller than me but not very fit: I could do with the company but at the same time I want to do it at my pace. What shall I do?



Tomorrow we should get the confirmation that we are going ahead with the IUI. I am doing my best to distract myself and not think of the treatment or what we will do afterwards if t does not work.

Going to Rome....And Bad News

On the day we were flying for Rome we went to see Fertility Dr and apparently after all this time he decided ivf not for us....
So much heartache it felt like I could not breath when he was talking to us.
DH was struggling as well with the news. Anyway he suggested donor eggs overseas. Very difficult to understand his reasoning. I have only had 2 try at ivf both times treatment had to be abandoned as I did not produce enough eggs....
We had the feeling that he wanted to get ride of us we are polluting his stats, he was pushy towards us going overseas.
He reluctantly agreed to one last go at ivf with a different protocol.
We drove to the airport in complete silence so much to take in and some really difficult decisions ahead of us.....